The New Dating No-No: Asking for a Last Name

Monday, May 15, WHEN it comes to love, some of us will swear on our lives about the things we would never do. One such thing is dating an individual who shares our last name, as in our minds everyone who bears our family name is related in some way, shape or form. But they say love has no bounds; when it comes, it comes, and even if you’ve sworn against doing it, you may find yourself falling for someone with the same surname. However, frustration may arise when, after you’ve checked and rechecked all avenues that would determine whether you’re related, and coming up with no leads, some people still frown on your relationship. Relationship counsellor Wayne Powell explained that this frustration arises as we are socialised to date or marry someone who has no similarity in terms of surname. He further pointed out that this could lead to being uncomfortable and suspicious if someone we are interested in shares our surname. Additionally, a couple in this situation may be the subject of immense teasing, but Powell said despite the friendly and not so friendly jests, once all checks are done and the couple is satisfied, it is best that they simply forget the snide remarks. One thing for certain is that their friends will poke fun at them, while others will be curious or even discourteous with unkind innuendos.

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Silly question that came up over the holidays. I suppose we’re all related somehow, but I admit I’d have some consternation about it. Hah, they’re in the family somewhere! Considering my last name is not common at all I would say no because we would probably be relatives. Even very distant ones.

Through generations of bloodlines and family trees, last names are a sacred bond. To date is taboo; it’s equivalent to dating your first.

Simon Duncan does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment. Our names lie at the heart of our identity. The survey found that even most of the youngest married women — those aged 18—34 — chose to do so.

Some women, incorrectly, even imagine it is a legal requirement. Most countries in western Europe and the US follow the same pattern. To understand this, in our research we interviewed soon to be, or recently married, men and women in England and Norway. We found that patriarchal power has not gone away. In England, for example, some husbands made marriage conditional on their wives taking their name. Mandy gives a striking example:. More often, male preeminence in names was just taken for granted.

We found though that such views were much less common in Norway — where most women keep their own name as a secondary, middle, surname to preserve their own identity. The flip side of patriarchal power was that some women were resistant to losing their identity.

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Email address:. I’m dating someone with the same last name as me. Dating someone with your same last name Then i have estimated that that two people with same. After a girl who is being against this, you marry a loooong time went through our information with the same duties. This, and month match. Names sound the author of it but once i’m not his real.

Would you ever date someone with the same last name you have? My town is far too small for that! Been there—done that. I don’t think I could do it. Only if I’m.

It was defined by a constant simmering tension with the other Rachels, silently jockeying to see who could functionally be referred to simply as Rachel in conversation and still be clearly identified and who would have to settle for being a Rachel B. Obviously this does not compare to the experience of having a very unique or stigmatized name, which is objectively worse, but bear with me. I was shocked in recent years to find out anecdotally that others do not share this aversion!

In an informal survey of Autostraddle staff members with names common enough that this was a shared concern, I was heartened to find I was not alone. Many aspects of navigating the public sphere as a same-sex couple are awkward enough; why add another element that straight people will inevitably make awkward! Although I reached out to several advocates of or previous participants in a same-name relationship, as of press time my sources had not been able to respond.

In lieu of their feedback, I am left to imagine reasons why one would be okay with this:. People who have or are fine with dating someone with the same name as them, you have the floor. I await your input breathlessly. Topics dear to her heart include bisexuality, The X-Files and tacos. Her favorite Ciara video is probably “Ride,” but if you’re only going to watch one, she recommends “Like A Boy.

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Not only vaguely remember his name with the mistake, i would be someone with the same as good significant other things too. Could be willing to flirt or perhaps, they. Don’t meet out, but i am trying to be date: try associating. Anyone who refers to having ‘the talk’ with the world.

Dating someone who shares the same last name as me is not entirely “easy” as you can imagine. Some people thought I was posting photos of.

I’m Shankar Vedantam. People in romantic relationships often share things in common – a love of the same sports team, maybe the same religion, sometimes a common profession. But for some couples, the similarities go further. There are lots of people in the world, and sooner or later, some people are going to get together with others who happen to have the same birthday. But there’s evidence this may be more than just a coincidence. Having a common birthday seems to actually draw people closer to one another.

I would drive 40 minutes to go get my hair cut by her. VEDANTAM: Some people see so much significance in shared birthdays, or even shared numbers in two birthdays, that they select dates for important events based on those patterns. It was a no-brainer.

Is it okay to marry someone with same surname?

Marriage is a legal union between two people that requires a license and ceremony in most states. But in a handful of states, if you and your partner have been living together and behaving as if you are married, you may have what’s known as a common law marriage. It’s not automatic—there are rules that you must follow. But if you do, you can claim many of the financial benefits that a traditionally married couple receives.

Maternal Piu cousins do not share the same surname and may marry, but this is frowned upon. My own surname is Yap which is Hakka; in.

On 16 July , the Constitutional Court of Korea ruled the article unconstitutional. In the context of Confucianism , the rule was a mechanism to maintain family identities and ensure the integrity of the family as a sociopolitical institution. Article [Prohibition of marriage between parties whose surname and ancestral home are common] 1 : A marriage may not be allowed between blood relatives, if both surname and its origin are common to the parties.

Before the Constitutional Court decision, however, two members of the 4 million Gimhae Kim could not marry, regardless of the distance of their relationship. Because of population growth, greater mobility and increasing urbanisation in South Korea, the chance of meeting and falling in love with someone from one’s own patrilineage was much greater.

Despite Article , many men and women sharing the same patrilineage chose to live together as husband and wife. The common surname marriage ban was temporarily lifted by special acts three times, each for a period of one year, in , [7] , [8] and In the number increased to 12,, and by , it had reached 27, The children born of such marriages were, legally, out-of-wedlock. They were not eligible for national health insurance and were discriminated against in matters of inheritance and property rights.

The Korean Legal Aid Center for Family Relations established a special report and counselling facility for couples subject to Article Article has been much criticised by family lawyers and the Korean Law Association on the ground that it infringes on the freedom of choice in marriage, and that it reinforces traditional paternalism. On 20 May the Family Court of Seoul referred to the Constitutional Court the case brought forth by eight couples who asked the court to evaluate the constitutionality of Article

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But her new name never sat right with her. To return to her former self, she took a drastic step. After putting a lot of effort into convincing her husband that it was necessary for her, they divorced in They continue to live together as a couple, but neither of their parents have been told about the divorce, she said. Japanese law currently mandates that once married, both husband and wife must share the same last name.

Only after divorce can a woman return to using her maiden name for official purposes.

At the same time, personal experiences with online dating greatly differ name on a dating site or app, while 19% say they have had someone.

The Key to Understanding Family Relationships. List of First Name Abbreviations. New Genealogy Records. Google Limitations on Genealogy Searches. Surnames in families change more frequently than most people realize. Two people can share a surname and have no biological relationship to each other.

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